Starfucked Read online

  “Ahem.” Eva cleared her throat, disrupting our moment.

  I moved back and caressed Noah’s bottom lip with my thumb. “Um, hey Eva. Again. This is Noah. Noah, Eva, my adopted mother.”

  “Hi.” Noah stood and held out his hand.

  Eva accepted. “Hello. Nice to finally meet Steven’s inspiration. Would you like something for breakfast?”

  “Yes please. And coffee?”

  “Of course. Steven can’t have any, but I will make you and myself some.”

  “Oh bummer. Not good for the heart?”

  “Nope.” I shrugged. “It’s okay. Juice and tea are better anyway.”

  Noah smiled. “I need to get cleaned up a little. Mind if I use your bathroom?”

  “Of course not. Go right ahead.”

  Noah smiled and got up, passing by me to walk on through the small hallway to the bathroom.

  I leaned back on the couch and ran my hand through my locks. It would take everything in me to keep my hands to myself for the rest of the day, depending on how long he’d stay.

  “Steven?”

  Shaking myself out of the fog, I looked up at Eva. “Hmm?”

  “He’s gorgeous. You were a fool to leave him all those years ago.”

  “I know.” I laughed and got up from the couch. “He’s a babe in every sense of the word and all I gotta do now is convince him to be my forever.”

  “He seems to be just as into you as you are him.” Eva grinned. “I’ll go make breakfast now.”

  “Right.” I watched her amble back to the kitchen and I looked in the direction of the bathroom. I was scatterbrained from the kiss and I wanted more.

  With Eva here, I wouldn’t do anything rash, so all those hot moments were officially put on hold.

  Friday would have to be the day then.

  If I could hold out for that long.

  * * * *

  Noah

  When I returned to work on Tuesday, the phone rang nonstop with everything from complaints about the bugs in our newest virus program to basic inquiries asking what we could do to make software work with different computers. I’d expected for things to be busy, but not to the point that I wouldn’t get a break until close to four. By quitting time, I was ready to crawl into bed and not come out.

  Once I left, I stopped at my favorite sushi restaurant, then headed home. There was nothing at my place to fix even if I wanted to, because I hated grocery shopping. Besides, I wasn’t a good cook, so it would be a waste. Knowing me, everything in my fridge would spoil because of non-use.

  Settling in with dinner, I leaned back on the couch and turned on the television. Surely there had to be something on to take my mind off this day from hell I’d just experienced.

  As I lifted the chopstick to my mouth, my phone rang. It was the beginning of Enter Sandman, so I knew it was Laze calling. I bit into the fish, then picked up my phone, pushing the connect button.

  “Yo man, what’s up?”

  “What’s up with you? Ian said you didn’t call him.”

  “No, I didn’t.” I grabbed my earpiece and curled it around my earlobe. I touched so it would pick up the signal.

  “Why not?”

  “I’ve started seeing Steven.”

  “Ooh. I knew it had to be that. You could still call him though. Nothing wrong with having options.”

  “No, but…” I shrugged. “You did write the letter to Steven for me. You hurried things along.”

  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “It means, you got things rolling for us. Why would I mess that up by talking with someone else?”

  “Just in case, man. Call it a contingency plan.”

  I shook my head. “No contingency needed. I think things are gonna work out between us.”

  “Oh yeah? How do you know.”

  “I just do, and… well, he says he has feelings for me.”

  “What?” Laze chuckled heartily through the receiver. “How? You guys didn’t spend that much time together.”

  “True. He claims he’s never had a connection with anyone other than me.”

  “And you believe him?”

  I stopped eating and placed the sticks down on the edge of the container. “I don’t know, but I want him to prove it. I’ve always liked him, Laze. You know that.”

  “Yeah, I do, but you’re no fool.”

  “So, you’re saying I shouldn’t see him?”

  “No, just, cool your jets.”

  “Says the same guy that sent the email in the first place,” I laughed and picked up the chopsticks. “Look, I’m not gonna rush into anything. We had dinner once, we’ve talked on the phone.”

  “Uh huh, and how did that go?”

  “Good. We ended up drinking two bottles of wine and talked most of the night. We kissed a lot, he sang me a couple of songs, then we both passed out on his couch.”

  “Lammmeeeoooo…” Laze singsonged then laughed. “You two are boring as hell.”

  “What? I’m not boring.”

  “Why didn’t you fuck?”

  “Uh, didn’t you just say slow things down?”

  “Oh sure, but that shouldn’t stop you from getting your rocks off.”

  “No, that’s what we did ten years ago. This time we’re looking to build on something more. That means I need to keep my pants buttoned for as long as I possibly can. And besides, I love that he’s romancing me. I deserve that.”

  “Yeah, yeah. You can still have sex and be romanced.”

  “Nope. If things go well, then sure, but for right now, I’m going to keep things at a steady pace. The longer we hold off, the better chance we can build a commitment together.”

  “Listen to you, Noah the relationship advisor.” Laze taunted me.

  “If you’re gonna tease me, I can hang up.”

  “Nah, nah. I’ll stop. If that’s how you wanna play it, then fine. Anyway, that’s not the main reason I called you. I wanted to see if you were busy on Friday night. The Dalians are playing a special charity show for Rotten Rice of Hellmaster at Haber’s Crown. Not a lot of people know about it because we’re trying to keep all the posers away and get the true metalheads in the place. You game?”

  “Fuck, seriously?” I dropped my sticks and rubbed my eyes. I’ve always wanted to see The Dalians in concert. “Is this the only show they’re playing?”

  “Yeah. I said it’s a charity gig, you fool.”

  “Is it okay if I bring a date?”

  “Um… is it Steven?”

  “Yeah. We have plans for Friday, but since its right before the weekend, we can make an event out of it.”

  “Ugh, all right, fine. Steven has cred because he used to be in the metal scene.”

  “He still is.”

  “Singing sappy love songs.”

  “No, he’s got some more upbeat music coming too, but he’s showing off his sensitive side first.”

  “Oh, are you his publicist now?”

  “No, you ass. I’m just saying. Anyway, I’ll ask him for sure. I don’t think he’ll mind. We could always go to the show then jet out afterwards.”

  “Mhmm. Hopefully so you can get laid.”

  I smiled to myself and resumed eating my sushi. Although I’d just talked about holding out, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. If things got heated, it would be nearly impossible to stop.

  Who knew what we’d do after dinner and a few glasses of wine?

  What I did know was I loved the fucking Dalians.

  Like the Ramones, they had a signature sound and since they didn’t play the United States often, I had to take advantage.

  I wanted to share the joy of music with Steven as both of us stood on the same side of the stage.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Steven

  After my walk, I returned home to work on a couple of songs for a pop group who paid me a pretty penny to write for them. They wanted deep, not too sappy. Considering the latest events in my life, this would be hard f
or me, but I’d try my damndest.

  Although sappiness was never my thing, having Noah back in my life made it difficult not to get soft. These past two weeks of getting to know him and then the dinner from a couple of evenings ago was enough to drive me crazy. With him around, my desire to stay celibate had been severely tested. Cold showers had been in order basically every night. There was no one I wanted more in my bed than Noah.

  As I got comfortable, I jotted down more ideas I’d thought about during my run. That and driving was when my creative juices flowed the most, which is why I did them often. I looked at the notes in the app and wrote them on my yellow pad. Once I put my mind to them, they’d turn into something special.

  Before I could write the second line, my phone disturbed me. That tune I’d reserved for Noah made me smile. “Hello, Noah.”

  “Hey Steven. Listen, thanks again for dinner. It was a lot of fun.”

  “It was.” I leaned back on the cushions and gave my cock a tug. His voice did it to me every time we talked on the phone.

  “Yeah. I wanted to know if you’d be up for changing plans on Friday.”

  “Oh? You’re not getting cold feet on me, are you?”

  “No, no. My buddy Laze is promoting a charity gig for Rotten Rice of Hellmaster. The freaking Dalians are coming to perform at Haber’s Crown.”

  “Shit, really?” I rubbed my beard. “I haven’t seen them in ages.”

  “Yeah, I’ve never caught them live. I thought we could check out the show, then have dinner after. How’s that?”

  “Sounds good to me. Do you mind if I stay over afterward?”

  “Well, I thought that was a forgone conclusion.” Noah’s smile came through the receiver.

  “Oh.” I grinned and ran my hand over the bulge in my jogging pants. “I, um… didn’t want to assume.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t, but… you’re all I’ve thought about lately. I’ve tried not to, but…”

  “No, no, don’t quit on my account,” I said laughing. I moved my hand to save the jerking off session for later. “You already know how I feel about you.”

  “Yes, and it’s getting harder to squash those feelings… so, we’ll go to the show, have dinner, and back to my place. We’ll make a night out of it.”

  “We sure will. Can’t wait to spend time with you, Noah.”

  “Me neither. Okay, let me get back to work. I’ll call you once I get home.”

  “All right. I’ll be waiting to hear from you then.”

  “Cool. Later.”

  “Later.” I hung up and sighed teen with their first crush. We’d be going out on date number two and this included a sleepover. Like I told Noah, I didn’t want to assume anything since I was going at his pace. The last thing I wanted to do was mess up before we got serious.

  With those thoughts in mind, I picked up the pen again and started scribbling. Just that quick, I already had another idea for the song. It wouldn’t be for the band though. Instead, it was another track for me to record for the website. At the rate I was being inspired, I’d have enough material for a full album.

  Again, my phone rang, but this time it was a plain tone. I pushed connect and put it up to my ear. “Hello?”

  “What’s up, Steve. It’s Jeff.”

  Although we’d talked before, it had been awhile since he’d called me. “Hey, Jeff, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing much.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  “Nothing, just saying hey. I checked out your website. The new songs sound really good. And since when did you decide to claim gay, man?”

  “Claim?” I dropped my pen and leaned back on the sofa. “And for the record, I’m bisexual. Even if I was gay, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

  “Aw, easy to cop out like that, huh,” Jeff laughed. “Wanna make sure you keep some old fans without saying you like dick.”

  I sighed inwardly. “What the hell do you want, Jeff?”

  “Just wondering why you’re throwing away your career, man. Things might be a little easier than they were before, but some fans don’t wanna follow a queer.”

  “Then that’s their problem, not mine. Is there anything else you need?”

  Jeff breathed into the phone. “I suppose you’re doing good for yourself now, hmm? Leaving us back in the dust.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “We were talking about getting the band back together. See if we could recapture some of the old glory.”

  “I’m not interested. Jory’s available, isn’t he?”

  “Nah, that motherfuckers’ joined some crazy religious cult or something. He says he can’t hang around us sinners anymore. Besides, the band would do better with you at the helm again. By you claiming to like both, I suppose it could work.”

  Listening to Jeff speak about the band did touch a nerve. Part of me wanted to go out and prove Jeff and others wrong that a queer could be the head of a band. The other liked being alone though, because I could control my own destiny. Sounded like Jeff just wanted to ride someone’s coattails. I wouldn’t be the one.

  “Again, not interested. I’m doing pretty well on my own. You’ll need to find yourself a new singer.”

  “Ah, Steven. I thought you weren’t mad at us anymore for kicking you out.”

  “I’m not. I don’t wanna go backward. Besides, unlike ten years ago, I’m not hiding my sexuality to make more fans. I’ll see you around Jeff.”

  “Hey, wait. By any chance, can you loan me some money? I’m having issues making rent this month.”

  “Sorry, I can’t help you.” I wasn’t loaning Jeff anything because I’d made that mistake before.

  “Ugh, all right. Well, take care of yourself, and if you change your mind…”

  “Yeah, I know. Later man.” I hung up, not waiting for him to say anything back. Funny how the conversation took that turn from criticizing me to asking me to rejoin the band, to asking for cash.

  Even if I was in better health, I wouldn’t want to work with those guys again. Bottom line, I was moving on in life and in music.

  * * * *

  Noah

  Finally, five o’clock had arrived. I’d just finished up the day’s work and turned off my computer. The phone rang nonstop with requests and I didn’t get much of a chance to take lunch. I was looking forward to going home, having dinner, and talking to Steven before I conked out for the night.

  “Noah?”

  I looked up at Dane coming into my office. “What’s up, Dane?”

  “Ah, just wondering if you’d like to hang out with us tonight. We’re going to the club to watch the ladies. Perhaps you’ll see something you like and get your first taste of pussy.”

  I wrinkled my lips and shook my head. “No thanks. I’m really tired and would like to go home. Besides, I’ve got a meeting tomorrow with a client.”

  “Oooh, that’s right.” Dane acted as if he were surprised. He knew what I had scheduled. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was trying to distract and sabotage me.”

  “Yeah so, I need to get going so I can get a good night’s rest. Was there anything else you needed?”

  Dane sighed. “One drink, man. Just to loosen up a little.”

  “With all due respect, is there a reason why you’re pushing? I don’t remember you ever inviting me to go out anywhere with your cronies. Besides, you know a lot of them make me uncomfortable with some of their off-color jokes.”

  “Oh, Noah, they’re just teasing, okay? Its’ just guy speak. When the hell did you become so sensitive?”

  “Dane, other than the company holiday parties, you and I have never just hung out. And those jokes about people’s sexuality and or cultures aren’t appropriate.”

  “Well if they bothered you, why didn’t you speak up?”

  “I have. Several times. The last two years Brent, in particular, said some things that made me want to punch him. You told me to cool my jets because it wasn’t a big deal and chalked it up to h
im having a few drinks. So, if I was uncomfortable there, why would I go out with you and Brent when I don’t have to?”

  Dane eyed me pointedly and forced his hands in his pockets. “Fine, man. I’m sorry. People are so politically correct these days, it’s hard to freaking have fun anymore. The me-too movement, damn black lives matter, all that shit. I mean, man. You can’t do anything without offending someone.”

  Listening to him, I grit my teeth and took a deep breath. This man was my boss, my direct report and he was testing my will. I could deck him, but that meant getting arrested for assault and losing my job. I liked my position, so I needed to keep my cool. “Well, that’s life, I suppose. I really need to get going. I’m having dinner delivered.” I walked from behind my desk and passed him to get to the door.

  “Dude, hey. I’m just telling the truth. Maybe next time we can hang out, huh. You’re a good guy, Noah and now that you’re part of upper management, you might want to start making more friends. We scratch each other’s backs, if you know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, I do. See you later, Dane.” I opened my door and left, not bothering to say another word. How dare he throw that in my face about being more social after dissing two movements that I held in high regard.

  Needless to say, I knew accepting this position meant I’d have to deal with attitudes like Dane’s. I’d have to suck it up and keep my head down, because lashing out wouldn’t help my case.

  Once I arrived home, I showered and changed into my sweats. Contrary to what I’d told Dane, I wasn’t having food delivered. I’d had some leftovers from earlier that I was heating up in the microwave. When it beeped, I pulled it out and forked the contents onto a plate. I had a seat at my counter and pulled out my phone, checking my email and social media. Nothing interesting. Plenty of news about things I had no control over. Then, I thumbed the screen, looking through my feed. My brother Leon had posted a picture with his girlfriend and her son. Rodney posted a meme about staying single, and Julian reposted a video of a guy shooting off fireworks from his crotch. I almost choked when he fell backwards and screamed. What people did these days for attention was ridiculous.