Where There's Smoke Read online

  Oh right, I’m paying her a mint.

  I harrumphed to myself and shifted my weight onto the other foot. I hadn’t thought of why else Sarah would give up her life and help me, so I supposed this was a good time to ask.

  “Sarah?”

  “Yes, Myles?”

  “Why do you like working for me?”

  Sarah turned around. Her blue eyes spoke volumes. Confusion. In other words why the hell are you asking me that?

  “Huh?”

  “Why do you like working for me? According to Garrett I’m an… uh… butthole. So?”

  “Myles, you’re been through a lot. You’re taking care of your mom. Your sister is still on drugs. You have a million-dollar company and little Macy. All of this is on your shoulders. You’d need some help.”

  “So, this is an act of pity?”

  “No, it’s because I want to help you. You’re a good guy, Myles. You deserve it.”

  Huh.

  Though her answer sounded sincere, I wanted to dig deeper. “Okay, well, do you do it because you like me, or only for Macy?”

  “Myles, I like you and respect you. You’ve been through so much. Your lover died, then you had to let the other one go because you had so many family problems. I mean, you deserve some happiness and help. You can be difficult, but mostly, you’re a great guy and boss.”

  I nodded, then walked closer to her, taking a seat in the chair by the bassinet, “So, you like me?”

  “I do.”

  “Good. And I am paying you well, right?”

  Sarah chuckled. “This little bundle of sunshine is worth spending time with for free! Yes, you are.” Sarah changed her voice to play with Macy which I thought was enormously cute. If I was the old Myles, I’d find it annoying.

  “Well, wow, Sarah. You have floored me. Wait until I tell Garrett.” I leaned back in the chair, smiling confidently. “I’m not so bad after all.”

  “No, you’re not. I will be honest though. The biggest reason I took the position is to be with Macy. This little girl is a fighter, and she’s beautiful. I’ve never seen such a lovely baby in my entire life and you know I’ve seen plenty.”

  “Me neither. Her bio mom is gorgeous… when she isn’t using drugs.” I shook my head, thinking of Myrna when she’d just graduated high school. She was homecoming queen, a valedictorian and then she took a year off school after graduation and her life went to shit.

  That one year turned into eight years of her partying, getting high, and sleeping with anything and everything that crossed her path. Macy’s biological father was a mechanic who wanted nothing to do with Myrna or Macy because he already had five other kids he’s paying for.

  “I’m sure. I hope she gets her act together because this little girl deserves to at least see her biological mother during her lifetime.”

  “Don’t hold your breath on that.” I crossed one leg over the other, then loosened my tie. “By the way, she called last night while Macy and I played.”

  “Oh? Is she trying to get clean?”

  “Nope. She tried getting more money out of me to pay her pimp.” I sighed and shrugged. “No worries though. I plan to have the perfect mother for Macy soon.”

  “Really?” Sarah squealed when I said that. “Who? Are you seeing someone?”

  “No. I’m going back to Santiago. We will see him in Cobalt on Sunday.”

  Sarah cocked an eyebrow. “That’s your plan?”

  “Yes. He loves children, and he’d be perfect to help raise her. I still want you around though because Macy loves you. I doubt we’ll need you full time. No worries, I won’t drop your pay and−,”

  Sarah sighed. “Wait, Myles, I thought Santiago already had a man?”

  “He does. As soon as he lays eyes on this beautiful bundle, he’ll change his mind. The current will become an ex real quick.”

  “I dunno about that.”

  “Dearie, I’m telling you, he will change his mind. I’m counting on it. Right, Macy?”

  I watched her, playing with the teething ring and moving her legs and feet. She was such an active girl and need all hands on deck to take care of her.

  This little girl deserved all the love in the world. More than I could give her alone. But Santi could give her that love. The love he’d taught me. Maybe I was getting desperate, but this was about more than me.

  There was only one family I could imagine for my baby. And Santi had to be part of it.

  * * * *

  Jonas

  The three days off with Santiago came and went too quickly. Now I’d be working five days in a row of ten-hour shifts. Today I’d started at six while tomorrow, I’d be working later. It sucked so much donkey dick, but what could I do? It paid the bills, plus we needed to plan for our special day.

  Although we hadn’t set a date yet, we had decided on the location. We settled on the Angelo’s mansion instead of the Harrison House. We compared prices, and as he’d said, it would cost us a fortune. We’d be better off using the cash to buy our dream home, so the expensive ceremony idea was out the window.

  With all this good news, I practically floated into work. The usual jabs came from my fellow firemen who always thought they had to add their two cents. Despite all this, I trusted these guys with my life and hoped if something went awry they’d do right by me as I would by them. My being gay had nothing to do with the job. As long as you respected me, I’ll give that same respect in return.

  Once I’d finished the morning chores I seemed to always be assigned to, I grabbed a cup of coffee and took a seat near my favorite fire engine. No 12. I loved it because the twelfth was my birthday number, June twelfth and the day Santiago and I met. November twelfth. It seemed to be my lucky number, and we were partial to it because it’s one of the original fire engines from the first station that was three blocks away from here. When the city gave us a new one, we put the others out to pasture. We kept number twelve as a symbol of the old coming back in with the new.

  “Hey, Jonas.”

  I looked up at my co-worker and friend, Stanley Cooke, and nodded. “Morning.”

  He pulled up a chair and plopped in that seat across from me. “Mornin. You all right man? You look a little distracted today.”

  “I’m fine. Just had a glorious three days off with my man. Missing him, that’s all.”

  Stanley shook his head, smiling. “Aw dude, you got that bad don’cha?”

  “Yeah, I’m in love. You don’t wanna hear about that, so what’s up?”

  “I was wondering if you’d like to come to the picnic next Saturday. My sister’s throwing it. A lot guys will be there. We wanted you to come. Ever since you started shackin up with that dude, we barely see you anymore.”

  “Well, don’t I feel special. I’ll see what my schedule looks like. I might have something planned that day with my fiancé, but if I don’t I’ll get back to you.”

  “Um, sorry? You’re what?”

  “My fiancé. The guy I got it bad for. Duh!” I snorted and took another sip of my hazelnut.

  “Dude, you’re getting married? Well shit, man congrats! Hey guys, Twinkletoes is gettin hitched!”

  I grimaced when they called me the name they’d given on me ever since I’d come out almost a year ago. I’d worked for the Cobalt Fire Company for two years and from what I’ve been told, I’m the first to out myself to the chief and my peers. They called me Twinkletoes because of being light on my feet for my size and because I was gay. Although it annoyed the hell out of me, I had no real issue with it because it was a name and nothing more.

  Some of the other guys on shift came over congratulating me while two others kept their distance. Those were the assholes that would barely speak unless they had to. I’m sure they’d be running home to their wives to tell them the latest gossip they could spread to the pastor at church tomorrow morning.

  “Twinkle! We need to throw you a bachelor party to show you what you’re missing,” One guy yelled out, while the others chuckled.<
br />
  “Nah, I’m good. I don’t need a bunch of scantily clad women, dancin in front of me. I got all the sexy I need at home.”

  They made the aw noises and patted me on the back.

  “Aw c’mon, Twinkle. The girls at Lexi’s would love to give you a good send off. I mean, you’re gonna have dick on the regular for the rest of your life, why not try pussy for once?”

  Some of my fellow fire fighters agreed. I wasn’t interested.

  “Nah, I’m good, guys. If you wanna throw me a party, we can have drinks and watch some sports. No dancers. Male or female.”

  “Dude! What’s a bachelor party without some naked women? Geez!” That was Mike Knowles who took a while to accept me after I’d come out. He and I became friends after we learned we were in the Army.

  “A bachelor party for a committed, gay man.” I got up from my chair and walked away from the horde while I still had limbs. I didn’t hang out much with the guys because they liked to drink and go to the strip clubs.

  It was nice of Stanley to ask me out to the picnic, but as I told him, I might have other plans. And if they took issue with me bringing Santiago, I wouldn’t be going, anyway. Regardless of what people thought, I didn’t hide my man from anyone.

  “So, when’s the date? Or is it a private ceremony,” Stanley asked.

  “We haven’t set a date yet. I don’t want a huge wedding. We’re actually leaning towards going to the courthouse, then a reception at Angelo’s.”

  “Ah dude, that sounds cool. Tell me. I’d love to come. My wife loves gay men. She’s into all that pride equality stuff. Goes to the gay parade in Chicago every year. Even though I don’t get it, it’s all right with me too. It ain’t none of my business who ya’ll sleep with. That shit’s personal.”

  “Yep. I wish a lot of people shared your opinion.” I raised my voice toward the jerks who were giving me the evil eye.

  They turned up their lips at me, then walked away.

  Stanley looked around at them, then back in my direction. “Man, don’t even worry about them. Nobody likes em anyway. They think we’re all goin to Hell.”

  “Hmph. Yeah well, anyway, thanks for the invite and I’ll let you know about the ceremony.” I threw my cup in the trash closest to the door and walked away because suddenly I felt like I was under a microscope.

  “All right, dude. Later.”

  Stanley let me go and I headed back into the firehouse to get away from the crowd. From the looks of it, this would be a silent day, which meant it would be over before I got used to it.

  Along the way, I couldn’t help thinking of Santiago and the necklace he’d given me. It was a sign of a promise, one I hoped he would keep.

  Chapter Ten

  Santiago

  “Are you gonna eat that?” Pamela nodded at the left-over tuna salad sandwich I’d abandoned.

  “Nope. Help yourself.” I slid the plate over her way. “Why so hungry? You didn’t have time to eat breakfast or anything this morning?”

  Pamela shrugged. “No. My mom dragged me out to some Saturday social, hoping to get me hooked up with a guy. I swear I told her to butt out. She wouldn’t listen.”

  “Pamela, you need to tell her. Perhaps if you came out, they’d leave you alone.”

  “No, they would try dragging me to a pastor to pray for my soul,” Pamela harrumphed and stuffed the remains of the sandwich in her mouth.

  “Ah, there is that. I still think you should talk with them. I already told you we have the spare bedroom and you can live with us as long as you want. Oh, speaking of, I wanted to tell you what happened yesterday?”

  “Oh? What?”

  I ran down the details of what happened with Jonas and why it occurred. When I finished, she gave me a frown that spoke volumes. I don’t recall ever seeing her so disgusted.

  “I swear, Santiago, I don’t know what you use for brains sometimes. Why are you even thinking about Myles when you have Jonas?”

  “He’ll always be special to me, Pamela. Not only that, I care about Macy. If the attack hadn’t occurred, we’d be raising her together.” I grabbed my soda, laced with scotch and took a huge gulp. I winced at the burn and eyed her again.

  “Right, but that’s not what happened. You’re really treading on thin ice with him, you know? He’s too good of a guy for you to be toying with his feelings.”

  “I’m not. I didn’t verbalize how I felt for Myles, but I also didn’t want to lie.”

  “Oh whatever. Some things you have to lie about to save face. If I was him, I would’ve gotten mad too.”

  “Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?”

  “His because you’re being ridiculous.”

  I grabbed the glass again and finished my drink. This time the burn wasn’t as strong. “Listen, I still care for Myles, but like I said, it doesn’t matter because I love Jonas first and foremost. I gave him my necklace to tell him it’s forever. And I mean it. I want him in my life.”

  “Because Myles isn’t here?”

  That question was a like a stab to the heart. I swallowed hard and looked away from her so she wouldn’t see the pain on my face. A little part of me hurt, thinking of a life without Macy and Myles in it.

  “Well?”

  “No, no, that’s not it.” I rubbed my temples then faced her again. I wouldn’t break down in front of my friend and show my weakness. Not now, not ever.

  “Okay, if it isn’t how come you haven’t answered the question? I swear, Santi, you’ve got a good man and all you can think about is that old stick in the mud? I met him when he brought his niece here. He seemed very arrogant.”

  “Oh, he is, and that’s one thing I found attractive about him. He’s a go getter, he knows what he wants. Myles is just big city boy, tough, Pam. He’s been through a lot with both parents, his sister, his lover dying…”

  “Still no excuse to be an asshole,” she remarked defiantly. She sipped on the scotch and Coke I made her. I was tempted to grab the glass from her and down it because she was letting a good drink get watered down.

  “Anyway, you love Jonas and have feelings for Myles. I’m just glad you’re settling down with a better guy. Jonas is sweet, kind, and dammit, If I were into men, I’d take him off your hands. He is one of the finest men who has walked this planet.”

  I grinned at that and got up from the table, grabbing my glass to make another drink. It was still early to be drinking, but it was five o’clock somewhere.

  “He is that.” I poured a substantial amount of scotch in my glass then a splash of Coke. “He’s charming, sexy, and great in bed.”

  “I bet…”

  I’m glad I hadn’t taken a sip yet, because I would’ve choked on my liquor. “Uh…”

  “Oh c’mon, Santiago.” Pamela downed her beverage in one gulp and slammed her tumbler a little too hard on the table. She was now getting to where I’d have to cut her off for the day because she got loud and combative when she drank too much.

  “Look, I can tell by the looks of Jonas he’s great in bed. The way you limped into work the other day, I could tell he hit it right, didn’t he?”

  I giggled at that and took another sip. “He did. Jonas knocked the ball out the park.”

  “Good.” Pamela cleared her throat and got up, grabbing her glass.

  “Uh uh. You can’t handle another one, Chica. Just chill on the one you drank for a minute.” I took it from her and set it down.

  Pamela pouted and moved her brown curls from her line of vision.

  “Fine, but lemme ask you a question. Perhaps I’ve been reading too many romance novels, but, if you had the chance to have both guys, would you?”

  I nodded already knowing my answer to the question. I knew it was a fantasy that would never come true. I’d have to jot it down as an idea to write about at some point.

  “Yes. Although the most important part of our relationship would be Macy, I’d love to have both men at once. Even if only for one night. I’d love to see them together,
in combat, then fucking each other’s brains out.” We both snickered at the thought.

  “It would be hot, even based on their looks. I mean, Myles is attractive, he’s just as ass.”

  “Okay, that’s enough. You’ve made your point.” I rolled my eyes and turned away from the liquor. It was too early to get sloshed.

  “He is, Santiago, but he was your man, so, whatever.”

  “Yes, he was.” I looked off into the distance, recalling that last night Myles and I were together. The evening before he took off for New York and left me alone in the big city. He was sad to leave me behind, but I insisted that he go alone so I wouldn’t be a distraction. If only I had let him whisk me away, then perhaps he could’ve saved me from what happened three nights later.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jonas

  “Mhmm… I’m gonna convince you if it’s the last thing I do.” I held onto Santiago as he was trying to get away and escape to the foyer where Pamela stood waiting for him. To make things more difficult, I wasn’t dressed, only donning a towel, wrapped around my waist.

  “Damn you, Jonas Sandbauck!” Santiago squirmed, but he couldn’t fight me off too much. I knew I’d weaken Santiago by touching and kissing him. He’d have to do a lot to make me stop and let go.

  “Santiago? I thought you wanted to leave like thirty minutes ago. We’re gonna be late.” Pamela called from the living room.

  “Coming!” Santiago called back and continued to push me off. I locked his mouth with mine, allowing my hands to roam to his buttocks.

  “You feel amazing, babe. If you stay until it’s time for me to work, we can get a couple more hours of lovin’ in.”

  Santiago chuckled and pulled away from me, slapping my chest. “You are so insatiable, Jonas. From the moment I woke up, you were aware I wanted to leave for this show.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t wanna let you go.” I grasped his hips again, forcing his body into mine. When he crashed against my torso, my cock jolted under the cloth. “Besides, I thought I was more important than the old collectibles.” I nuzzled my nose around the back of his ear and sucked on his earlobe.